The Probelm with Shots
by Bad Banana Bread
Summary: Peridot Berde is a student with a plan: graduate college, get a solid career working in engineering, never have to deal with another living clod. But what happens when a certain blue-haired bartender throws that plan into chaos?
1. Chapter 1

"Fucking clods!"

Peridot's explanation for most problems in her life was that apt phrase; this situation was no different. She was tied to a chair and blindfolded in God knows where, muttering the words to her self over and over.

 _ _If only Pearl could have been the DD for Amethyst. If only Rhodinite had agreed to be the robotics' club fundraising chair. If only she hadn't given in to that teasing, frustrating blue haired temptresses' prodding then she wouldn't be in this situation.__

"If not for those fucking clods!" she yelled, the echo of her words reverberating off the walls of wherever she was.

"Shut the hell up," came a raspy, terse response.

Peridot immediately clammed up for fear of what her captor might do if she continued. Peridot had lived through a lot of garbage and was gutsy enough to run her mouth to just about anyone, but even __she__ knew the potential consequences of her current circumstances. The silence lasted what seemed to Peridot just a few moments before she felt a cellphone pressed to her ear.

"Talk," came the rough voice.

"What, exactly, do you want me to say?"

The phone pulled away as Peridot heard her captor's words.

"You heard her voice. Meet me at the abandoned warehouse on the far edge of the city. Don't be late, Lapis."

Peridot began to panic; she began rocking the chair back and forth, trying her best to break free of the bonds that kept her blind and restrained.

"Lapis, don't come! Just stay where you are, don't come here!"

"I said shut the hell up!"

Without anytime to think Peridot felt a fist connect with the side of her face. The chair fell to its side and Peridot's head connected with the cold concrete, __hard__.

Peridot didn't remember much after that, except for uttering one final quiet phrase before blacking out.

"Lapis."

 _ _6 Months Earlier__

It was just another simple day on the campus of Central Beach City University. The oak and maple trees that populated the campus grounds had long since seen their leaves change color and fall as the steady march of time proceeded into early October. There were the random students pittering and pattering back and forth across campus, stressing and depressing as midterms crept up. Many began considering their alternate careers of freelance janitor and McDonald's drive-through operator should they utterly and complete blow the exams.

That, however, was not an issue of concern for the five-foot blonde girl exiting the engineering building. Peridot Berde had long been a straight A student and had no real concerns of failing. At this point her class grades were so high she could, in theory, miss the midterm completely and still pass. Not to suggest that she ever __would__ though. The Redbull-derived bags under her eyes told a tale of someone who would rather see Paulette x Percy become canon than lose a decimal off her GPA.

Peridot made her way to the student parking lot wearing a set of thick rimmed green glasses, a green hoodie with the words 'I want to believe' plastered on the front, and a perpetual scowl. She had a long night of studying ahead and if sleep deprivation thought it was going to stop her it had another thing coming.

"Yo, P-dot!"

Peridot stopped and looked back just in time to see the short and stocky Amethyst Cortez bounding towards her in a pair of work out shorts and a tank top. The latina's hair tied into an oversized pony tail and face covered in sweat.

"Where've you been Peri, . . . I've been looking all over for you. . ." Amethyst stated between gasping breaths. "Man, you've move quick . . . for having short legs."

"I hardly see the relation to my stature and optimal travel velocity with relation to yours. You and I are of equitable height and therefore our approximate surface speeds should be at a comparable level."

"Blah, blah, blah. Can you ease up with the geek speak, turbo nerd, I've got something important to ask," Amethyst responded her breathing easing back to a normal level.

"Very well, proceed," Peridot said, a slight frustration tinging her voice.

"Coach gave us the rest of the week off for winning the first qualifying tournament and to study for midterms. The Famethyst and I are going to hit up The Barn later tonight, but we need a DD. Think you can lend your favorite Central Beach City University wrestling team a hand?"

A nervous and pleading smile spread over Amethyst's face as Peridot's went into a deadpan expression. This was going to be a tough sell. The only time Amethyst had ever had the Famethyst over to the house ended with Peridot cleaning melted marshmallow and chocolate out of her PC tower for a week.

"What about Pearl? Can't she take you and that haphazard cacophony of pebbles?"

"She's got a tutoring session with one of her students."

"Garnet?"

"Visiting her parents. She won't be back until tomorrow morning."

"Greg?"

"He's watching Steven."

"What about your friend, uh . . . Vladamir."

"Her name's Vidalia and she'd just end up drunk with us."

"What about you're teammate?. Certainly one of you could drive." Peridot stated, clearly growing desperate to avoid what was becoming an inevitability in her mind.

"Sharky's the same issue as Vidalia, Jay doesn't have a license, Carnelian hasn't had a night off in weeks, and Skinny agreed to buy the first round so we can't tell her no."

Amethyst went down the list ticking off name after name until every member of the wrestling team had an excuse for why they couldn't, or rather wouldn't, be the sober one that night. Peridot let out a defeated sigh as her shoulders slumped forward. She was many things,-small, angry, prone to cursing when idiot Hammond mains managed to knock her off the map,-but something she was not was a bad friend and there was no way she would refuse to be the designated driver if it meant her friend had the chance of being drunk behind the wheel.

"Fine I'll be th-" Peridot was cut off as Amethyst grabbed her in a crushing hug.

"Thank you Peri! I promise we'll be on our best behavior!"

"Doubtful, but thank you for the implied effort," Peridot responded, adjusting her glasses after having been released from Amethyst's death grip.

"Cross my heart," Amethyst stated drawing a pretend mark over her chest. "Pick us up at the athletics building tonight around 8pm, you won't regret it."

Amethyst jaunted off towards student cafeteria, likely to stuff down a full pizza and burrito by herself. While Peridot stood in resigned silence for a moment before walking over to her old beat up 2002 Honda Accord.

She plopped down in the driver's seat and sat in silence for a brief moment before doing the only thing she could; banging her head down on the steering wheel with one simple thought.

"This is going to be a long fucking night."

 **Author's Note**

Thank you to everyone for reading and thank you to Jessaverant for beta reading before I upload. I'm going to try and be consistent with the updates on this story. Please drop a review with your thoughts and critiques. Hope you enjoy the story!


	2. Chapter 2

"Just a small town girl living in a lonely world! She took the midnight train going anywhere!"

Peridot was gripping the steering wheel of her beat-up Honda Accord; the current Central Beach City University wrestling team having taken full advantage of her car's radio to provide an already splitting headache. This was to say nothing of the fact that many of the wrestling team's members had started the night's escapades early and already smelled like a small brewery.

"Yo, P-dot relax a bit would ya? This night is supposed to be fun," Amethyst chided, giving Peridot a small nudge in the ribs.

"I assure you that yourself and your team will have the peak efficiency of fun, but as the designated driver I experience no need to take part in your so called 'fun.' In fact that would seem counterproductive to my stated efforts here this evening."

"Aw c'mon ya dork. Ain't nothing wrong with having a little fun now and again," came the voice of Sharky from the backseat.

"I'm not so certain I would qualify intoxicating myself to the point of bodily control loss as . . . UGH!"

Just as Peridot was finishing her sentence Carnelian reached up behind the driver's seat and gave her a wet willy. The string of expletives that followed was only mitigated by the sound of the radio and the hysterical laughter of the Famethyst emerging from the back seat.

"Do that again and I'll leave you pebbles on whatever shriveled up piece of dirt we pass next."

"Alright, alright, let's ease it up guys," responded Amethyst "besides we've reached The Barn." Amethyst now motioning towards the beat-up wooden building that Peridot was parking beside.

The aptly named Barn was the local towny bar. Beaten-up, wore down and composed of thick oak wood. It was the local watering hole for anybody occupying the nearby farming areas as well as a steady influx of university students looking to test their fake IDs and livers. The vibrant neon beer signs matched well against the two-story building and the adjacent supply of produce that farmers would come to sell mid-day in the parking lot.

Peridot grumbled as she and the Famethyst got out of her car. Peridot had spent enough time around places like these during her childhood and had no particular desire to step foot near them again.

They made their way through the entrance, each getting their IDs checked as they marched through the doorway. Peridot in particular was a prime candidate for IDing as her stature could allow her to pass for an early high school student.

Peridot found the inside of the bar to be no more appealing than the outside. The tables, chairs and walls were worn with age, each carrying the marks of different individuals who hard carved their initials, names or some obscene phrase into them. Where the walls weren't covered with the carvings of formerly drunk patrons hung a variety of signs and advertisement, mostly for whatever beer or farming product had been cutting-edge fifty years prior.

Peridot and the Famethyst made their way to a set of tables nestled in the back of the bar, their shoes peeling from the beer stained floors with every step.

"Alright my chumpettes, what's the first order of business. Shots? Beers? Appetizers? What're we doing," Amethyst stated bracing herself on their table.

"Fireball!"

"Tequila!"

"Food!"

"Budweiser!"

Peridot let out a sigh at the antics unfolding before her.

 _ _Good God, they aren't even drunk yet.__

The ensuing cacophony of Famethyst yelling was promptly extinguished by a sharp whistle. The entire table turned to the sound's source.

A lean pixie-like woman stood over them. Wearing a simple black tank top and jean shorts. Her arms were covered with sleeves of tattoos depicting everything from random ocean creatures to an ornate mirror. Yet, the real draw was her bright blue hair and equally piercing eyes. They cut through everyone at the table, a silent strength almost commanding those in her presences to acquiesce.

Everyone sat in silence for a brief moment dumbfounded by the beautiful woman before them. This was particularly true of Peridot who's gaze lingered just a little too long before Amethyst kicked her under the table letting out a little snicker as she did so.

"Great we've already gotten through stages one and two of arguing and staring so we can move on to stage three where you place your order and I can get on with my life."

The server's tone came across benign. By all accounts it seemed this was a regular enough occurrence that she had simply become resigned to her patrons' behavior.

"We'll take an opening round of fireball shots and two pitchers of your cheapest beer," Amethyst stated quickly.

"Six shots and a round of piss water coming on up."

"Actually," Peridot pipped up "I won't be needing anything this evening. I am the designated driver and would instead like a can of redubull and a bracelet designating my status as the responsible member of the party."

"Fair enough, five shots and a redbull. We don't keep those bracelets, but I've made note of you."

Peridot scoffed.

"That is absolutely inadequate. Are you aware that a study by the National Restaurant and Bar Association showed that on average anywhere between five to fifteen percent of all food purchase orders are improperly provided each year. I demand you provide a designated device for my status to ensure no improper consumption of alcoholic or other impairing substances."

"So did one of you feed her after midnight or something?" the waitress asked with a blank expression to the remaining table members.

A gaggle of snickering followed as Peridot grew visibly angry.

"Now listen here you clod! I am simply trying to ascertain the most efficient methods of transportation safety for those occupying this table as the evening progresses. If you don't provide..."

"I'm going to cut you off right there," the waitress stated as a smile spread across her face. "I'm remembering that we do have a bracelet in the back for people __just__ like you. Don't worry I'll be back with it in a hot second."

Before Peridot could say anything further the server left the table leaving Peridot with a smug look of accomplishment.

"Wow short-stack you sure showed her," a Famethyst responded sarcastically.

The sarcasm failed to reach Peridot though as she let herself fall into a smug aura of victory.

"It was only a matter of time before that simpleton relented to my superior intellect."

"Oh sure thing Peri. I mean who could __ever__ argue with your nerd talk from the restaurant institute."

"It's actually the National Restaurant and Bar Association Amethyst, but your point is applicable as ever."

Amethyst snickered as Peridot failed to perceive any of the sarcasm that had come off her statements.

"Awwwww yeahhhh, drinks are here!" a Famethyst cheered as the waitress carried over a tray of drinks.

"Alright, five shots of Fireball, two pitchers of beer, a can of redbull."

The waitress listing each item as she placed them on the table.

"But wait, how could I possibly forget your special, special bracelet."

With a self-congratulatory tone coming off every word and a victorious smile decorating her face the server pulled a bracelet out of her pocket and tossed it directly as Peridot's face before it bounced off and hit the table.

The Famethyst fell into a hysteria of uncontrolled laughter and Peridot into a hysteria of equally uncontrolled rage as they saw what laid on the table before them. Sitting in front of Peridot was a bracelet, that much couldn't be disputed, but she just hadn't expected it to be a plastic novelty bracelet for bachelorette parties, particularly one in the shape of a certain male appendage.

"Now listen here you pebble scrounging Clod! I don't appreciate your sub-strata attempts at comedy and I won't be modifying my appearance with something so gaudy as this phallic band!"

"Ya know, that's a real shame cause, like you said, there's a five percent chance I fuck up your order. Wouldn't it just be a shame if your little 'ol drink got some Jager in it. Now if you just put that bracelet on I'll know for extra certain that you aren't going to have any drinks."

Peridot reluctantly slid the bracelet on her wrist as the server stood smugly smiling at the event's outcome.

"Good to see you agree. If you need anything just yell for Alex. I'll be over in a second."

With that server sauntered away in a manner that both infuriated and captivated Peridot.

 _ _Alex. What a Clod!__

* * *

"Hrrrk"

Peridot was sticking her head out the window of her car as she drove to the only carwash in town.

She had been under the impression that the previous night could not have gotten any worse. Following the insufferable defeat she tolerated at the hands of that blue-haired waitress she was rapidly proven wrong. The Famethyst continued to goad her about the event through the evening's end.

Peridot had tried to throw the bracelet away, but Amethyst retrieved it from the trash and hung it on the vehicle's rearview mirror. Peridot would have tossed it out the window from that point if not for the fact that she was distracted by Amethyst's vomiting all over the vehicle and herself. So there it hung, until such a time as which Peridot could locate a volcano to throw Amethyst, Alex, and that bracelet into all at once.

Peridot pulled into the carwash expecting to be greeted by a large neon sign of an elephant spraying itself, but instead encountered the familiar faces of Greg, Pearl, Garnet, and Steven.

Peridot had first met Steven and the other Crystal Gems just a year prior. After coming out to her traditional southern family she was promptly disowned. Left without any resources or support she leveraged her stellar school record to attend the only university willing to give her a full scholarship.

It was after Garnet had found Peridot asleep on a bench in Beach City a week prior to dorms opening that she was shown the first acts of kindness by the group she came to know as the Crystal Gems.

While there had certainly been hiccups along the way there was no other group she would be quite as proud to call herself an honorary member of.

Pearl was a tall, lean woman with an elegant aura about her that only somewhat masked a detectable pain beneath. Her initial school focuses on engineering and dance struck Peridot as particularly strange. Peridot, never one to be outdone, took her engineering focus as a challenge. What had initially started as a feud moved into a friendly rivalry and the two still competed with light jabs and jokes.

Garnet was another matter all together. The late twenties guidance counselor was still something of an enigma to the ever analytical Peridot. Garnet's stoic and silent ways were something that Peridot was never able to quite figure out. Yet, there was no other Crystal Gem who had done more for Peridot to work through the loss of her entire support structure. For that, Peridot was ever indebted to Garnet.

Finally there was Steven. At a time in her life when Peridot was bitter and jaded, well, more than usual, Steven was there always trying to cheer her up and make her happy. Steven was able to get Peridot to do the one thing no one else had been able to for months, smile.

All of this combined with the support provided by Steven's father, Greg, and the other Crystal Gem, Amethyst, was more than enough to teach Peridot that no matter how bad thing seem there was still good out there. How Peridot ever got lucky enough to have people in her life like these was something she still pondered from time to time.

"Peridot!" the enthusiastic five-year-old clamored before reeling at the car's smell.

"Ewwww. Peridot you need to clean out your car more. That smells worse than the time Amethyst and I had a bean eating contest."

Peridot let out a little chuckle at the child's antics. Peridot was about as warm as a wet sock most times, but Steven had the affect of making everyone around him happy and warm.

"Funny you mention it Steven. Amethyst is the cause behind this smell too."

Steven gave a tiny nod of acknowledgment as the others made their way over.

"Uggghhhhh," came the collective responses of Greg and Pearl. Garnet her ever stoic self stood quietly before picking up Steven and placing him on her shoulders.

"Give me those keys now Peridot. This just became a priority wash."

Greg snatched the keys from Peridot's hands and began driving the car toward the vacuums on the opposite side of the main carwash building.

"If I'm not back in twenty minutes call in a hazmat team."

"Well, if Greg dies it'll at least be an improvement over the current smell."

"Whaaaaa! Dad's gonna die!" Steven yelled as he scrambled off Garnet's shoulders and ran back toward his father. "Don't worry Dad, I'll save you!"

"Really Peridot. You had to say Greg would die." Pearl responded annoyed.

"It's not my fault Steven doesn't get sarcasm. Besides, that smell is on Amethyst, not me."

Pearl let out a disgruntled huff before dropping the matter.

"What are you three doing here this early anyway. Shouldn't you be teaching some kid how to curtsy or something? And you," Peridot motioned toward Garnet "weren't you supposed to be out of town?"

"It was only a day trip. I got back this morning and have some afternoon appointments."

"We're here to get some scheduling worked out with Greg so Steven can go to Funland. And I'll have you now that a proper curtsy is an incredibly important aspect of any proper dance course. It requires balance, precision, and a disti…"

"That's enough Pearl," Garnet stated with a hand raised.

"We're going to Funland!"

Steven bound back around the side of the building with Greg in tow.

"Please, please, please tell me we're going to Funland! It's my favorite place ever! I'll be extra good and I'll clean my room and I'll turn in all my pearl points. Please tell me we're going!"

The starry-eyed child was bouncing everywhere at slightest the mention of an amusement park, an action only resolved by Garnet once more picking up Steven and placing him on her shoulders.

"We'll go in a week or two Steven, but you have to be on your best behavior, understand?" Pearl stated in a motherly tone.

Steven shot Pearl a thumbs up, "you got it dude!"

"Not that this hasn't been an intellectually stimulating conversation, but I need to depart. How much do I owe you Greg."

"The wash is free for friends Peridot. Just promise me you'll swap out the items you put on your rearview mirror for fuzzy dice or somethin'. That was a little difficult to explain to Steven."

Peridot's face went a deep shade of red as she grabbed the keys from Greg.

"Sorry about that, it was a technical error that will soon be corrected." Peridot muttered into the ground.

"No worries, I swapped it with an air freshener."

"Excellent, thank you Greg, that is the optimal alternative at the moment."

With that Peridot made a beeline for her car, wanting to avoid any further conversation on the topic. However, one thought did come through clear as day in Peridot's mind.

 _ _If I ever see that waitress again she's going in the volcano first.__


	3. Chapter 3

"C'mon, open."

Peridot jiggled the handle of the SGA's usual meeting room, but nothing gave. The lecture hall of the old Bernard Building was as rundown and decrepit as some of the professors around BCU, but it served its purpose for the repetitive Monday meetings of the Student Government Association.

The meetings themselves were nothing to get excited about. A few planning committees get set for various university events, some symbolic proposals get passed, all eventually ignored by the school administration, and the occasional award presented to a student or group for volunteering. To be perfectly honest Peridot found the entire things to be a bore, but as the Engineering Club's Vice-President she was obligated to attend.

"C,mon, why won't you open."

"What's the matter Peridot, late for class?"

Peridot sighed and dropped her head at the voice coming from behind her. Peridot let got of the door handle and turned around to face the only student on BCU's campus shorter than her, the SGA President Aquamarine Tores.

The 4'5 student could best be described a number of ways: mean-spirited, cold-hearted, generally unpleasant. Peridot, however, preferred a different term. Bitchy. Like really really bitchy. Like, imagine taking all the bitchyness in the world concentrating it in a single jar, filtering it through the Heathers musical and you might get about half of what Aquamarine was like.

"Just, trying to get in for the SGA meeting" Peridot said with a fake smile.

Aquamarine picked at her nails as she leaned against the wall.

"Oh, don't worry about that. We just wrapped up. Shame you missed it though. Didn't you get my email detailing the time changed" a smug tone peeling off Aquamarine's voice.

"As a matter of fact no," Peridot deadpanned.

"Well, no biggie. Nothing too exciting happened. We set up a committee on a community garden for the students and passed a divestement resolution. Nothing outside the norm."

"The university will ignore both, but fair enough. Either way if that was everything I'll be heading out now. Try and let me know sooner about those time changes would you. I don't really care to miss things in my schedule even if there only SGA meetings."

Peridot turned to exit the building, thankful to be rid of Aquamarine's presence.

"Oh wait."

Aquamarine stood up straight and motioned as though she had a sudden epiphany. Her voice shifted to a sickly-sweet and smug tone.

"There was one itsy bitsy teen tiny thing we did that I forgot to mention. I'm afraid a few clubs were running dry on funds for homecoming week. I hope you don't mind, but we shifted five thousand dollars out of the Engineering Club's account and into Greek Life."

Peridot froze and turned back to face Aquamarine.

"You did what!?"

"A drop in the bucket really, but thought you should know."

"A drop in the bucket!? That was our entire SGA allotment! We have a competition in 2 months and you just took all our funding you self-righteous little cu…"

Peridot froze as she felt a hand press down on her shoulder, hard.

"Topaz, so good to see you. Didn't expect that you would be out of class for another hour."

The 6'3 woman didn't say anything, she just kept staring down Peridot, not doing so much as blinking. If there was one thing Peridot could have done without right then it was Aquamarine's notorious bodyguard and sorority sister showing up.

"But if your out I suppose it's time for us to go. Have a great day Peridot and don't forget to wear your BCU pride loud."

Aquamarine sauntered away with her lackey in tow. Freeing Peridot from the vice-like grip and causing her to shoot for her cellphone. Peridot jammed the numbers in as fast as she could and nearly ran out of the Bernard Building as it rang.

"Hey Pearl, give me a call as soon as you get this message. We've got a big problem."

* * *

 _3 Days Later_

The sound of a gavel came down repeatedly on the kitchen table as what little conversation occurring ceased.

"This emergency meeting of the Engineering Club Executive Board will now be called to order. Ann if you would please, take roll call."

"Pearl is this really necessary. I mean it's just the six of us and we're all sitting in my dining room. Don't you think the formalities are a little . . . unneeded."

Pearl scoffed at Ann's suggestion.

"Good figure, form, and repetition are the keys to success in life. Now then, if you would, please take attendance."

Peridot gave Pearl a slight nod of approval, though Pearl didn't seem to notice. If there was one thing the two club leaders had in common it was there collective respect for organization and proper operating procedure. It was one of the many reasons Peridot had moved up so quickly to the second-in-command position for the club and why the organization had been running so smoothly.

"Fine," Ann sighed.

"Club President Pearl Rosas."

"Present," came Pearl's preppy reply.

"Club Vice-President Peridot Berde."

"Present."

"Club Secretary, Ann Rutile."

A brief pause ensued as Ann gave Pearl an 'oh really look.'

"Here, club Treasurer Beth Rutile."

"Here."

"Club First-Vice Chair Rhodinite Stensin"

"Pres.., here," mumbled the ever anxious Rhodinite as she tripped over here words.

"Club Second-Vice Chair Padaparsha Wilson."

Ann waited as Padaparsha, or as everyone called her, Paddy, sat in silence and obliviousness to what was happening around her.

"Club Seco…"

"Present," came Paddy's response.

If there was one thing that everyone could always count on it was Padaparsha's perpetual daydreaming. That, among many other reasons, was why the SGA Representative function had been stripped from her and placed under Perdiot's purview.

"That's everyone present and accounted for Pearl."

"Excellent Ann, thank you. Now then as you all are no doubt aware we have an urgent issue to address. We have a robotics competition coming up in just under seven weeks. At the beginning of the school year we had been allocated five thousand dollars from the Student Government Association for the competition. However, at this weeks SGA meeting the student government voted to shift all of our funding to Greek Life for the purposes of Homecoming. My point is this, we need to figure out something fast. That money was preset in our semester budget and we don't have an abundance of time between now and when things need to be set for the competition. Beth if you could please give us an updated breakdown of our accounts."

"Sure thing," replied Beth as she handed out laminated sheets detailing the Club's account balances.

"The basic situation is this. We are sitting on around fifteen hundred in our savings. Of that amount one thousand is traditionally kept in place for emergencies during our competitions. Flat tire tires, unexpected storms that delay our return, that sorta stuff. The other five hundred we traditionally kept for emergency repairs of our competition projects when we are two weeks out from these events. Other than that we have nothing to speak of."

"Pearl if I could chime in for a moment."

"Absolutely, go ahead Ann."

"I've got two main points to make. One, how the hell did this happen. Two, how the hell did this happen! Isn't the entire point of putting Peridot in charge of the SGA rep. position so something like this doesn't happen! Really Peridot, what the hell!"

Peridot's face assumed an unpleasant shape as Ann railed against her. Peridot had come to expect this. She was the one who had pushed the change for Padaparsha's role after three missed SGA meetings nearly caused the Engineering Club to lose its status as a certified organization on campus, but she still didn't need the rest of the club coming down on her. She already felt terrible enough.

"Look," Peridot began "I went to the meeting, but the doors were already closed and everyone gone. I ran into Aquamarine and she stated that she had sent me an email regarding an updated time for the meetings, but I don't have anything. I've looked through every email and there's nothing. I don't like to shift blame. I know I'm responsible and I'll do everything I can to fix this, but realistically . . . Aquamarine did this on purpose."

Everyone around the table sunk down for a few moments. Peridot was right and most everyone there knew it, but that didn't change the fact that they needed to do something.

"Alright," piped up Rhodinite "what we do now?"

"Peridot and I have been talking about just that over the past few days. Peridot if you would."

"Thanks Pearl, so we have two key ways we can go about this. The first is is the SGA and campus side. Pearl has reached out to our faculty adviser, Flourite, and to the Dean of Student Services. We've got an emergency appeal to stop the transfer, but we're close to Homecoming and the money will be spent soon so our options for an administrative appeal, even if they go through aren't great. We also need to work on organizing clubs that support us to get the money switched back over. They transferred it away so we can, in theory, transfer it back. We'll need to divide up organizations around campus and then each of us will take point on a few of them, making sure their SGA rep. is at the meeting two weeks from now and that they will vote with us to transfer the funds back. The second metho.."

"Peridot if I could interject one more time, but even if we transfer the funds back what's to stop the SGA from transferring them at the next meeting? Couldn't this all just devolve into a game of back and forth?"

"Yes Ann, it could, but time is on our side. Both sides of this little pissing match,"

Before Peridot could finish her sentence Pearl brought the gavel down on the table.

"Language Peridot, please continue."

Peridot grunted, picking up where she had left off.

"As I was saying, both side of this little . . . contest, want this money for time sensitive items. Us for the robotics competition, them for Homecoming. If we get it back in two weeks that should limit them from acquiring any additional votes needed to transition the funds with an adequate enough time to use the money."

"And if we don't get the money back in time then we're done for, doomed, zip, zilch, goners."

"Calm down Rhodinite, we have a second plan in place, Peridot."

"Thank you Pearl, the second option available to our current predicament is financial outreach."

"Fundraising, you're talking about fundraising."

"It is fair to say that is an accurate assessment Beth. We need operational allocations and outside outreach may be the best option."

"Peridot, not that I don't see the value in fundraising, I just, well I don't see it happening for us. I've been treasurer for two years and every time we try to raise money we get nobody donating to us. This is a farming community. The only thing people around here care about is corn, sports, and homecoming. I mean, the only person we have ever gotten to donate to us is that car wash owner Greg, other than that all of our money comes from membership dues."

Pearl chimed in "be that as it may we don't have many options available to us. We'll need to raise the money or abandon our competitions for the year. Now, I've never known this group to give up and I don't expect it now. We can do this, difficult as it may be, we just have to make the choice to do so."

"That's all well and good Pearl, but does anyone in here even know about fundraising?" retorted Ann.

"I mean, just look at what we've got going on here. I'm abrasive, my sister, despite being treasurer doesn't know the first thing about raising money, Rhodinite is always so nervous she can barely speak to anyone, Paddy has her head in the clouds and shouldn't be anywhere near money, you've got a kid to look after and student teaching so it isn't like you have the time, and Peridot is about as fun to be around as hugging a cactus, not to mention the fact that she got us into this mess."

"Alright, that's enough!"

Pearl yelled bringing the gavel down on the table.

"Ann, you have done nothing, but complain this entire semester. I understand that you are still upset over the elections at the beginning of the year, but this is neither the time nor the place to air your frustrations. This situation is not Peridot's fault. We all know how Aquamarine is, we've all had run ins with her and I will not tolerate any more finger pointing. We can either work towards solutions or not. Is, that, clear."

The gaze that Pearl set upon Ann as she accentuated each of her final words could have peeled paint off the walls it was so potent.

An uncomfortable silence fell over the group as Pearl regained her composure and Ann sat staring at her handout. The silence was only broken when the one remaining member at the table spoke with any meaning for the first time the entire meeting.

"A fundraiser! Yes we shall host a fundraiser."

"Wait, what!? Paddy you can't be serious. What could any of us do as a fundraiser?" Beth asked.

"And why not?" Pearl asked?

"Plenty of groups on campus do fundraising events, certainly we could too."

"That's exactly the point," Ann added "every group on campus already does something. You think we can compete with the culinary club and there spaghetti dinners? I think not."

"Well unless anybody has any other suggests I'm putting it up for a vote." Pearl stated.

"Do I have a second."

Peridot's hand shot up instantly. She was going to be damned if this whole situation didn't get fixed and come hell or high water nothing was going to stop her.

"Very good then, all those in favor raise your hand."

Peridot watched as four hands shot up around the table, the only two not to do so being the Rutile twins.

"Well then, it would seem the motion has passed. We'll be holding a fundraiser" Pearl said with self-righteous satisfaction.

"Fine," Ann sighed "but what are we actually going to do?"

"Well, what do college kids like? What are they willing to spend money on?" Peridot questioned.

"Beer and sex mostly" Ann sarcastically retorted.

Pearl sighed

"Ann please try to be serious, we need to think of something we can do."

"Wait, Pearl she's not wrong."

"Rhodinite, what could you possibly mean."

"Well, college kids love booze. Let's get one of the local bars to sponsor us for a night. We'll put on a fundraiser where a portion of the profits go to us. We'll make up the money in no time."

"It's certainly not the worst idea," Beth added "but I'm not sure I have the time to set up something like that. Plus I don't really know any of the local bar owners."

"I'll organize the event," Peridot stated tersely, staring down Ann and Beth.

"Peridot, not that I don't appreciate your, shall we say, gumption, but don't you think this is a bit much," Pearl asked.

"Not at all. It's clear that there are individuals in this group who doubt my abilities and prerogative. I intend to fully subdue any concerns over my leadership in an efficient and respectable manner."

Pearl sighed and looked about the group before her.

"Well, if no one has any objects are we in agreement?"

Steady nods of affirmation met Pearl's question.

"Well, Peridot, you best get to work. You've got a big job ahead."


	4. Chapter 4

"No, I've tried most of them, but these clods don't understand the value in propagating an interest in engineering."

Peridot sat in her car just outside a fast food joint, a cellphone pressed to her ear and wedged inside her seamlessly styled blonde hair. Thus far the search for a venue to hold an Engineering Club fundraiser had proven fruitless. It was as she had feared, most people in this podunk town really only cared about sports and farming. Anything less than the local 4H basketball team simply wasn't worth a shit.

"The clubs? We've got most of our key ones on board. The entire mathematics and science groups are pulled in and we're grabbing most of the culinary and music departments thanks to Lars and Sadie."

Peridot listened as a jumbled voice came from the phone's receiver waiting for the opportunity to respond.

"There's still one more spot left to try. I'm heading out there now. Okay, good. I'll see you tomorrow. If things don't go as planned we'll need this place on board. Understood, talk to you later."

Peridot sighed as she ended the phone call with Pearl. Despite the fact that things were looking up on the redistribution of funds for the Engineering Club this whole debacle had proved to be, as Peridot put it, a royal pain in the ass.

Peridot pulled her seat back up and threw the remains of half-eaten cheeseburger into the fast food bag sitting on the passenger seat floor. She started the car and began driving to the one place she had purposefully saved for last.

Sure, most bars in Beach City were more rustic themed and had the usual aesthetic she'd come to hate from her childhood, but this one, oh god did she hate this one. It just felt more familiar than the others, reminding her of of all the terrible things she had to tolerate growing up. It certainly didn't help that this bar was on the edge of town or that her last visit there had been less than enjoyable.

Peridot pulled into the parking lot of The Barn and pulled the keys out of the ignition before dropping her head on the steering wheel and letting out a deep sigh.

' _C'mon Peridot, you can do this. Just put on a happy face and swallow the bullshit. Your team needs you just suck it up.'_

Without a second thought Peridot sat up, plastered on a fake smile, got out of her car, and walked up to the building. She tried opening the door, but it wouldn't budge. Opting to rap her knuckles against the worn lumber, her knocks fell somewhere between the markered names of _Jake_ and _SwagMaster42_. With no answer Peridot went to knock again on the aged door when it suddenly opened.

Standing in front of Peridot was a woman a few inches taller taller than she, maybe 5'7 or so and with thick locks of hair covering her eyes. She wore a simple light blue shirt with jeans and an apron. Peridot found nothing particularly unusual about the woman's appearance, but the way she seemed to keep staring at the floor and kept her face covered set an uneasy feeling in Peridot's chest.

"I'm sorry, but we're closed on Sundays. Have a nice day."

Peridot barely heard anything the woman had said her tone was so soft. As the door began closing Peridot snapped out of her attempts at processing the young woman's words and back towards the task at hand.

"Wait! Wait, I'm not here for the bar! Well, I mean, I am, but not in the way you think."

Peridot stumbled over her words, tripping at nearly every point as she tried to get into the last place in town that could offer her the success she needed for the Engineering Club.

"Please just let me come in and talk for five minutes, please."

Peridot stood with a hopeful look on her face while the woman began to open the door. Peridot entered relieved, but still unnerved by how the woman seemed to be keeping her eyes glued to the floor.

"Thank you. I'm Peridot and if you'll give me just a few minutes to exp…"

"Please come this way."

Peridot was cut off mid-sentence by the young woman as she closed and locked the door behind her. Peridot followed, taking note of her environment. The place looked pretty much the same as she remembered from a few weeks ago: old farm and beer advertisements, a jukebox in the corner, her shoes didn't make the same sick peeling sound as she walked and the smell of alcohol was better, probably due to the group of cleaning supplies set out on one of the tables and the mop propped up in the corner.

It was only after she bumped in to her mild-mannered guide that she realized where she'd been led. Peridot uttered an internal ' _shit'_ and got ready for what was coming next.

Peridot had been led right to the bar and standing right behind it stocking bottles of liquor was the slim, tattooed bartender she had encountered prior. Peridot readied herself as much as she could, but the bartender was wearing a pair of skin tight jeans and a black tank top that showed off what Peridot could barely make out as wing tattoos on her back. And boy if there was one thing Peridot was it was gay. She knew it, her friends knew it, everyone knew it and despite her disdain for the person standing behind the bar Peridot had to admit she was not having an easy time keeping herself leveled.

"Alex we have a visitor" came the quiet words of Peridot's guide.

' _Alex, right that's her name.'_

The barkeep turned around and immediately shrugged down into a disappointed demeanor.

"BP what did I ask you about letting in stray cats."

Whatever difficulty Peridot was having a few moments ago was immediately gone.

"Now listen here you soil sucking sub-strata clod! I didn't come in here to ge…"

Peridot's tirade was interrupted by a small orange tabby rubbing against her leg and purring.

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh" responded Alex, "BP, why don't you head up stairs. I've got this."

Peridot watched as the quiet young woman picked up the orange tabby and went for a side door that presumably led to an upstairs.

"So, what brings the gremlin of road safety back to my lovely establishment" asked Alex as she leaned forward on the bar, once again making it difficult for Peridot to focus.

"You remember that?"

"It's mostly corn huskers and dude-bros that come in here. Anybody with an IQ high enough to prattle of statistics tends to stand out a little. Not to mention the fact that most people have enough deft while sober to not oogle so blatantly, which side note," Alex made a quick whistle and pointed at her face, "eyes are up here. Now then, what, do, you, want."

Peridot swallowed the lump in her thought and refocused her thoughts for the 500th time since having walked up to the bar.

' _C'mon, now or never Peridot.'_

"My name is Peridot Berde and I am a sophomore at Beach City University. I am here on behalf of the Engineering Club at BCU and the dire straits that we currently find ourselves within. One of the most critical components of the Engineering Club our the annual robotics competitions that take place throughout the Northeast. Recently all of our funding was removed and with a competition just a few short weeks away. These competitions seek not only to enhance the skill and ability of our team, but also function as a recruitment tool for prospective employers looking to acquire new employees with practical skills in the robotics and engineering field. Without access to these events many of our senior members are left with little recourse in the way of practical employment demonstration. It is our hope that we could convince you to host an event in which proceeds from a portion of the nights sales or an entrance fee might provide sufficient income to the Engineering Club. Among the benefit of this would be potential charitable tax-deductions, improved marketing and name recognition within the greater community, and the overall sense of achievement that accompanies providing young minds with the opportunity to practice their skills and seek futures in fields that are making widespread progress in human and technological innovations."

Peridot froze. She had practiced this speech over and over and over again. She was certain she had just nailed it, but she couldn't read much beyond Alex nodding her head and giving occasional 'hmms.'

"Ya know, at the beginning there you didn't really have me, but I'm convinced. We'll do it."

"Really!" Peridot beamed.

"No you leprechaun it's a terrible fucking idea."

"Wha…"

"I mean, do have any idea what you're really asking for? You're asking us, us, this whole establishment to go through a kegger for 200 plus kids and swallow costs above and beyond that with it. Do you think booze is cheap or something?"

Alex sighed and loosened up her tone a bit. Based on the look that currently covered Peridot's face she might have gone a bit far.

"Look, I just mean to say that you're asking a lot of us here and I'm not sure you fully understand that. I mean, have you ever even had a drop of alcohol yourself."

Peridot's expression changed at once. Before there had been shock and even some hurt from the words hurled at her, but not anymore. Now she was pissed. She had been fucked over by Aquamarine and let her team down. She wasn't about to be screwed over again by someone else. No matter what it took she wasn't going to let her team down.

"Fine, if that's what it takes to show you I understand what I'm asking so be it!" Peridot yelled.

Peridot reached forward and grabbed a bottle of green liquid sitting on the bar and threw it back a huge portion of it. She couldn't see what it was, the label was facing away, and she didn't take time to consider how it tasted or would affect her or if the bar needed it for restocking the shelves. If repeating a mistake from her high school years saved the Engineering Club she'd do it 50 times over.

Peridot brought the bottle down and wiped off her chin leaving only an angry and determined expression behind. To her surprise the drink didn't taste badly at all. In fact it was extremely sweet.

"Wow," stated Alex with an impressed look on her face "you really showed me."

"Yeah, I did, didn't I."

"Oh for sure," Alex continued smugly "I mean most people couldn't thrown back that much 0 proof margarita mix and walk straight. 10 out of 10 job there champ."

Peridot's smile faded as she looked to the bottle and turned the label for a clear view. Sure enough the bottle had written on plain as day ' _Jimmy Buffet's Margarita Mix For all your party boat needs.'_

"Fuck," was all Peridot managed to say as she sat staring at the bottle.

Alex gave a quick chuckle before grabbing two shot glasses from under the bar and a bottle of Jameson off the shelf.

"Alright take a seat, what was it, Peridot?"

Peridot just nodded in affirmation ignoring the directive to sit.

"Alright, well take a seat Peridot."

Alex poured the liquor into each glass filling it to the brim. Peridot sat on a nearby barstool and placed the margarita mix on the counter.

"Bottoms up pipsqueak," Alex stated handing one of the glasses to Peridot.

Alex threw back her shot immediately, but Peridot just stared at hers.

"Will drinking this really help me convince you to host a fundraiser?" Peridot asked in a tone that barely came across as a question.

"Absolutely not, but you clearly need to unwind a bit so bottoms up."

Alex made a fake gesture of throwing back a shot and Peridot quickly followed through with a real version of her own. Despite how long it had been since Peridot tasted booze the shot went down without issue. That same familiar burn, that same familiar rush that came right after. All of it was the same as she remembered.

"Damn," Alex muttered "I didn't take you for a drinker, but that seemed to go down like nothing. Mind explaining?"

"That's kind of a long story."

"I've got time," Alex stated following up with the pouring two additional shots.

She pushed one of the shots toward Peridot and keeping the other for herself. They both threw them back once more, Peridot doing so this time without the initial hesitation.

"I grew up down south, like way down south. Think if Chick-Fil-A, sweet tea, and baptists churches had a baby and that's pretty much where I'm from. Down there booze is just another part of a normal Saturday night."

Any animosity that had existed between Alex and Peridot was quickly fading. Peridot clearly needed a chance to let loose a little and Alex was just doing what any good bartender was going to do, listen.

"Well that explains the whole 'drinking like it's water' bit, but how did you end up in the middle of BFE, Maine? Wouldn't you want to stay close to home and family?"

Peridot gave Alex a tired look, at least more tired than she usually was.

"I grew up in the deep south. Certain things are frowned upon down there. Anyway, I was given a choice 'pray the gay away' or never see them again. I chose the latter."

"Fuck yeah, screw those assholes. I'll drink to that."

Alex poured two more shots that were promptly down the hatch. A smile formed on Peridot's face. On some level it was the booze, but that last statement from Alex certainly hadn't hurt.

"Don't you ever let anyone tell you to be anyone other than who you are and if they do bite 'em in the shins. You're small enough it'll work."

Peridot chuckled a bit at that last portion. If she had any doubts about the alcohol affecting herself she certainly didn't have any about it affecting the bartender across from her.

"What about you? What brings you out the middle of nowhere?" asked Peridot.

"Eh, not much. Family friend owned the bar. They thought dropping me here would keep me out of trouble. No more stealing ox boats for this gal."

"Hold up," Peridot began perplexed "what the heck is an ox boat?"

"Well, ox boat may not be the exact term I was going for. Think more so of a KaYak."

Alex was barely able to contain herself in delivering the horrendous pun's punchline, and while she may have been losing it completely Peridot was burying her face in her hands and trying to not let the bartender see the bemused smile spread across her face.

"My god that was terrible."

"Yeah, but that's the point of a good pun, to be absolutely terrible," Alex said with a smile.

"Is that why you have all the ocean tattoos? Cause you stole a boat?"

"Oh, were at that stage now are we?"

"And just what stage would that be?"

"The stage where you start asking to see tattoos."

Peridot's face shot to a deep shade of red at that last statement as she stumbled and struggled to regain her composure.

' _Good God what is this woman doing to me.'_

"Easy there short stack, it's just a joke. Though don't think you were the only one sneaking a peak the other night. Nice backside by the way," Alex said throwing Peridot a quick wink that only served to fluster Peridot even more.

"Anyway no, I didn't steal a boat. I mean, at least not yet."

Peridot finally began to regain her composure as Alex carried on with the story.

"I just really like tattoos. Some of these don't have a whole lot of meaning. With most of them it's just cause I love the water, though a few matter to me, you know."

Peridot silently nodded in agreement. She didn't have a tattoo herself and didn't every really see herself getting one, but she had to admit they fit Alex well.

"Wait a minute! I think I get it!" Peridot suddenly blurted.

"Get what?"

"You love the ocean. That's why when we first met you were so salty."

Peridot and Alex sat in brief silence for a moment. Each shared a surprised expression.

' _Why the fuck did I just say that, why did I say that.'_

Without out much warning Alex burst into an unbelievable fit of laughter.

"Oh my God, 'snort,' that was, 'snort,' the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

At this point Alex was practically dying on the bar counter and Peridot quickly followed suit.

"What are you, 'snort,' laughing about, you made the joke."

"That laugh! Oh my God, your laugh is adorable!"

Alex went to try and stifle her laugh as Peridot wiped a tear from her eye.

"Hey now, it's not my fault. I mean, water you think your doing making jokes like that."

"H2Oh my gosh that was terrible," Peridot stated through a brief snicker.

"Booo, boooo. Bad joke," Alex stated making a thumbs down symbol jokingly.

"Eh, they can't all be winners Alex."

Alex stopped for a moment with a surprised smile on her face.

"I never formally introduced myself do you did I?"

"There was the other night with my friends, but I don't think that counts."

Alex grabbed the Jameson bottle and poured a fourth shot for the both of them.

"In that case, Alex Lapis Lazuli, but all my friends call me Lapis."

"Lazuli, that French or something?"

"Wi," Lapis responded sarcastically.

"Well Lapis Lazuli here's to you and God awful jokes."

Peridot and Lapis clinked their glasses together before throwing back their drinks, not caring or knowing one bit what was to come.


End file.
